Welcome to ***AOL™*** the world's largest UN-ISP.

An open letter from Jonathan and AOL's™ other crybabies…

Thank you for choosing AOL™. You have made an excellent choice.

As you know AOL™ and Time/Warner™ have combined and what a blessing that is for you, our new member. Within the new AOL™ 9.0.01, that you just received, is the complete Time/Warner™ film and sound library, Netscape 9.0™.
Although Ted is no longer with us, we will still honor his request and upload Jane Fonda to your computer.

As soon as Microsoft™ is split-up, we will be charging you for the use of Netscape 9.0™, AIM™ plus all current and future add-ons. We feel that the upcoming charges will be understood by you and all of our customers.

Again, thank you for choosing :-) AOL™.

OH, just in case you didn't know... we're watching you.