God's Diet

And God populated the earth with broccoli and
cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's
brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained
pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman
might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth
chocolate syrup, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle
candy to put on the yogurt.

And man and woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon
bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream
for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from
Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol
went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man
resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote
control so Man would not have to toil to change
channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man
gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable
naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them.
And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw
and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...

And Satan created HMOs...